Obama Calls Defense of Marriage Act Unconstitutional; Ferndale Weighs In

Six months after a wedding ceremony filled with friends and family, Joe Plambeck still cannot get over being a newlywed. “It’s still taking some getting used to (marriage)," he said. "I still hesitate when talking about my marriage, but it shouldn’t cross my mind."

Although the laws of the state of Michigan prevent same-sex couples from becoming legally married, Plambeck said he knows he is a married man where it counts the most: his heart.

On the heels of news out of Washington last week that Congress may attempt to shore up the Defense of Marriage Act, Plambeck and other in the LGBT community are calling President Barack Obama's declaration that the act is "unconstitutional" false hope for good approval ratings in time for re-election.  

Plambeck, 32, an actor and director at the , was married to Joseph Bailey, also an actor, on Sept. 4 in a very theatrical ceremony. "I would describe our wedding ceremony as very us, more of a performance than a traditional ceremony," he said. "We had a dance number to start the ceremony.

"Some people need that (legality) and that's fine, but to me it was about the moment and the wedding day and having all my family and friends there," Plambeck said.

"We had been together for seven years when I proposed. I just felt like I deserve that day just as much as my friends."

Same-sex marriage in the United States

Today, there are five states and the District of Columbia that issue same-sex marriage licenses. Two states allow civil unions and three states recognize same-sex marriages from other states. For some same-sex couples, Bailey said, this might be progress, but to many others it's not enough.

“It doesn’t feel good. I don’t like to be denied opportunities,” said Bailey, 44. “Yes things have gotten done but should you feel satisfied with the crumbs you have gotten?”

Last month, Obama ordered the Justice Department to no longer uphold the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, calling it unconstitutional. This act defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman, excluding same-sex couples.

"To me, it just boils down to homophobia," Bailey said. "How would the opportunity for me to get married desecrate the idea of marriage? Why should we have to settle because of semantics?"  

Is marriage the problem?

“I think we dropped the ball using the word marriage,” said Kevin Smith, 46, a Ferndale resident who identifies himself as a gay man. “In this country the Christian right is so radical and we went right for it with marriage.”

Smith said he feels the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) community has a better chance legalizing same-sex civil unions than same-sex marriage.   
 
On the heels of the president's announcement, Speaker of the House John Boehner said last Friday he plans to take action to have Congress defend the Defense of Marriage Act, saying the courts, rather than the president, should decide the constitutionality of the law. This has many in the LGBT community calling the president's actions false hope for good approval ratings in time for re-election.  

"I think (Obama) is always working to build a good approval rating," said Michael Gregor, 24, director of communications for Equality Michigan. "But I think these actions were sincere."

Gregor said although legalizing same-sex marriage has been a slow journey, he disagrees with anyone who said their vote would not count to help change society.

“All votes matter and we have a responsibility to hold elected officials to ensure we have a legislature that knows what we want," he said. "Marriage is a pretty significant thing in (LGBT) culture and it's important to us at Equality of Michigan that we honor that commitment."

How does religion define marriage?

"God created marriage and it is intended to be between a man and a woman," said Pastor Scott Gentry, 54, of the . "It is based on more than just feeling."

Gentry explained that the Free Methodist Church operates from certain core values, defined by the Book of Discipline, which contains policies that deal with things like marriage. Although he understands the need for civil unions, Gentry said he couldn't sympathize with them.

"The idea of civil unions, LGBT or heterosexual, falls outside of our view of marriage," he said. "As much as I understand that (need) I am still going to say this is the biblical understanding of what God has defined as marriage and I cannot support it."

The Metropolitan Community Church of Detroit, located in Ferndale, believes marriage is defined differently.

“We teach marriage is between two consenting adults and love is a gift from God,” said Pastor Mark Bidwell, 52. "Marriage is instituted by God, not the government."

The Metropolitan Community Church is a part of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches and was founded by Rev. Elder Troy Perry after he was fired for being gay.

"We are slowly seeing changes but unfortunately I think fear controls a lot," Bidwell said. "That is fear in a huge population and it needs to be buried and put aside. It's not about the fear of God, it's about the love of God."

Bidwell added that although change is happening slowly he does see progress continuing in same-sex marriage.

"I think if state-by-state is how it's going to be, then that is how we will have to get it done."